3rd hand smoke

I live in the 3rd hand smoke universe. My neighbor next door smokes and since his apartment shares a balcony wall with mine, when he smokes out on his balcony it travels into mine and permeates anything I store in the storage closet out there. Its rather annoying and there's nothing I can do about it since technically his balcony is "outside." My neighbors below us also smoke. Our ventilation system must be connected to their somehow because every time they smoke we can smell it through our air vents. Its worst in the bathroom and my roommate's bedroom. Most of the time we get used to its faint lingering odor but every time you walk into the door after being gone all day you remember that you live in a 3rd hand smoke universe. Additionally since you can legally smoke in your own residence there is nothing my apartment can do about it.

Today I was reminded of my universe because smoke clings to your clothes and whenever my smoker neighbors do laundry the laundry room smells like smoke too.

I move out in a month! Can't wait to breathe again! I hope my year of 3rd hand smoke does not in fact lead to cancer :)

Busy Busy Busy

Actually not that really lately but sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me that I have trouble relaxing. I like to be busy most of the time. I feel discontent when I don't have something to do. Is it because I want meaning? Is it because subconsciously I'm afraid of what will happen if I am actually quiet with nothing to do. I've had a good couple of months of it being really and now I'm ready for action again. I just can't decide if there's something wrong with that or not...ah well I guess we'll just keep going along.

THIS year

Around 4:30 this afternoon I was laying on some concrete stairs in front of Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Nebraska. Anyone from Nebraska or a stone's throw knows that the University of Nebraska's campus is somewhat of hallowed ground. As an alumna (though not native to the state) of the "U," I knew the significance of the place I laid. I could feel the heat from the concrete radiating through my clothes onto my back despite the shade cast by the massive building.

I was waiting. While I did so I closed my eyes and listened. Off in the distance I heard the rumble of construction from a new university project off toward my left and the interstate's hum behind my right ear. I heard a car drive up and

opened an eye to see if anyone was coming my way (I of course planned, then, to sit up since laying on the steps like that was a bit weird in the presence of anyone else). The car just stopped though and the front passenger window rolled down. A picture was snapped and the car drove away. It was the ending of a summer camp the university hosted and stragglers from the day's new student enrollment also were about. So plenty of Football fans were milling about.

Alone again, I closed my eyes and could hear the rustling of the trees and the hot breeze on my face. In the current temp it was more like the fan from a hair dryer than the cooling breeze I was hoping for. Nevertheless, when I felt the wind on my face I thought, as sounds of nature always make me, of my creator and paused for a moment to pray to the God who made all that was. I thought of how, though the University was legendary for the football i

t proclaimed, my God was legendary in my life and in the lives of people far outside the Cornhusker state. As I smiled at my ability to communicate with Him, another car drove up.

I recognized this car's blue exterior and knew my friends had arrived. Sam, my roommate from college, and her husband, Greg, had just picked up their new puppy in Kansas and had stopped to share on their way back to Omaha. I was delighted to meet, Gracie. Greg had Gracie in his hands and brought the baby pug over to me. I held her and petted her as we walked around the university a little bit and that dog had never had it so good.

After all too brief a visit, my friends left with their new puppy and I returned to my apartment. As I drove I thought of how much we had changed in the years Sam and I had known each other. It was our freshmen year at the University that we first met, the same major, the same dorm floor, and many of the same classes. Along with a few other close friends we navigated the waters of higher education together and walked alongside one another through our post college adventures. The current economic climate, of course, has made the transition a little harder than usual, but we are still standing on both feet. Yet this year, the year I turn 25, I'm certain will be the best year of my life. I'm not a millionaire or totally stable, but I'm independent and confident in myself. I have a boyfriend I love and who loves me and I know more about myself than I ever have before. Most importantly, for the first time I feel grounded in my relationship with God and I am completely happy. Economic hardship, loss, and pain will come but I know I can withstand them all. This will be the best year of my life.

New Chapter of My Life

After graduating from college last summer, I have been working part time in video production at a local church and part time elsewhere while seeking God’s direction in my life. I attended a conference at which the main speaker challenged us that, “Anything a Godly person does can and will be used to further the kingdom of God.” I began to feel as though God wanted me to consider full time ministry using my gifts in video production and administration in addition to one on one ministry. God led me to Acts chapter 6:1-7 where the apostles realize there are needs in the church that they cannot meet because they need to dedicate themselves to preaching the Gospel. They decide to anoint 7 strong believers to fulfill those needs and because of this “...the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.” (Acts 6:7)

Next year I will be a part of producing videos to promote our events and conferences on campus and utilized throughout the Midwestern region, helping to organize those events, and sharing Christ with students at the University of Nebraska (UNL). The events are an important part of the Navigator ministry as they create a fun atmosphere where we can get to know students better and they can feel comfortable bringing their friends. One event is called “The Island Party” where we have a have a bonfire and fun games on a sandbar on nearby Platte River. One of my friends was uncomfortable with church events and talking about a relationship with Christ, but was excited to come to the Island Party. After hearing other students share about their relationship with Christ there it opened doors for me to continue to dialogue with her about what being a Christian looks like.

The Navigators are a non- denominational ministry that seek to "Know Christ and Make Him Known." They have been at the University of Nebraska for over 50 years. Watch a video of student's lives that have been impacted:

Donate to the ministry at UNL by clicking on the link or visiting:

https://donor.navigators.org/dp/donate/controller.cfm?action=showDonation&staffID=23729759

If God wrote a personalized letter to his children:

My Dear Child,

In your time the earth is being formed. I am orchestrating it together in perfect harmony. I have made light, dark, forms, creatures, and the first two people. From these two you will one day come into existance in your time. You see, though, I am not confined by time and space as are my creations. To me you are already formed and I delight in all that you are. You are part of this plan from its very beginning.

I can see you at this very moment, but I am excited for the day when my other creatures on this earth will be able to meet you. On the day that you will begin to carry your light to this earth. In your lifetime you may not every fully understand how I can know everything that is and was and will be, but you will when you too live outside of time.

Love Always,

Abba
“Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”
Psalm 139:16

My Dear Child,

Today, in your time, you have come to be. You are small yet, only a collection of a few small cells, but I know things far smaller. You parents in their love and joy brought you into existance in the way I had meant it to be. How I loved beginning to form your body with all its intricacies.
I assembled your DNA structure and all the elements that would make you look the way you do and be who you are.

The cells divided quickly, just as I made them to, and I moved everything into the order I had created. It will yet be some time, in your world, before your parents know that you have come to be. Yet I have already made your heart begin to beat. I know you are here and love you more powerfully than your parents ever will. Even if you do not realize the strength of my life in your lifetime, it will never change.

Love Always,

Abba
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14

My Dear Child,

In your world right now, your parents are preparing to welcome you into their world. They are frightened for they were not prepared to have a child. They are not sure what they are going to do. They feel they are too newly married and have too little money. I whisper peace and love to their hearts for you are my special child too. I have designed you to bring joy to their world and love to so many others of my children.

How I love watching you come into your world. You are squirming crying for it has been a shock to you to leave a place so warm and familar into something so cold and foreign. You will adjust dear one. My heart fills with joy to see your arrival.


You are my masterpiece.

Love Always,

Abba
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
Epheisans 2:10

My Dear Child,

In your time you are just beginning your life. At times you look around curious about your new world and are beginning to develop in all the ways a baby should. Your parents were thrilled at your first step but how much more my heart lept with joy for I created you just perfect. I see you developing and learning from your parents. Sometimes you bring them difficulties and they are not perfect in their relationship with you either.

All that you are experiencing is preparing you for the work you are doing for me. It will happen in not too long in your time as well. I see little pieces of the sin that separates you from me right now in your time, but I do not live in time. I know now and forever when I have already redemed you and you are mine, perfect in my sight from the blood of my Son.

Love Always,
Abba
“Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you
even at my mother’s breast.
From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.”
Psalm 22:9-10

Story of My Life

Time is our friend and our enemy

As I've gotten older (not that I'm all that old, but older), I've noticed that the mystical ages I used to dream about as a child are not really all that magical.  I remember thinking that certain ages would come and I would have every thing figured out.  I would have life figured out and there would be smooth sailing from there.  

I've discovered, however, from my own experiences and interacting with those older than me that everyone has problems and this wisdom and security is the biggest myth cooked up by my 10 year old brain.

Not to sound so fatalistic.  I am glad I am older now.  I have experienced things and don't really have a desire to go back to where I was.  I am grateful for all that I have learned and for my life experiences.  

Guess we have to continue forward, living every day as our last firmly watching for that time when Christ is promised to return and every tear shall be wiped away.

Do you ever feel called?

So I was driving in my car listening to a song on the radio.  It's "Here I AM" by "Downhere."  Part of the chorus goes:

"Here I am, LORD send me.  I want to live my life as an offering."

As I was singing that it clicked with me about when I was a little girl and we used to sing an old hymn at church.  It was called "Here I Am LORD" and the chorus goes:

"Here I am LORD, is it I LORD? I have heard you calling in the night.  I will go LORD.  If you lead me.  I will hold your people in my heart."

I remember singing that song one Sunday when I was in 4th grade.  I had enjoyed that song for many years, but on that day for some reason I began to think about the lyrics.  I thought to myself: What does that mean?  Here I Am?  Where would God send me?  Would I go?

I think I was afraid, but I also think I said, "yes."  I will do that.

I wasn't yet a Christian but I know God was calling me long ago.  It reminds me of Samuel or David who God called when they were children but who didn't fully develop into it until later.  I think I'm in process too and I think God has called me to HIS work.  I just don't fully know what yet.  I think that's okay.  God is prepared to work with me still.  It is exciting to see that HE has been calling me for that long.  It seems long to me now.  It is probably so short to HIM, but thinking about God living outside of time is a whole different issue to ponder for another day :-)

:-)

So Now What?

If you live in America and do not know what happened yesterday, you are living under a rock.  Yesterday we inaugurated our new President, Barack Obama.  It is enough to make many Americans have hope again.  Do not get me wrong, I love my country and am proud to be an American on every level.  I believe that it is important to pray for and respect our leaders for "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." ~Romans 13:1.

However, as I watch all of the excitement, it is hard not to remember the economy down here for the little people.  I am not naive enough to believe today everything will be okay.  Our founding fathers set up our government with checks and balances - a form that makes our constitution one of the longest standing ones in the world and has prevented tyranny from reigning  in the US.  It is, also, a form that makes any governmental action extremely difficult to accomplish quickly.  It will be months before the powers of government filter to the streets.  In the meantime I pray that President Obama is wise in all his actions, the bipartisan hatred among many in our government does not interfere with doing what is right for our country, that all would find hope in something that is eternal while we continue to watch the economic downturn, and that we would be thankful that we do not live in the poverty of many parts of the world.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" ~Philippians 4:6-7

Bedtime

You know when you were a child and your mom could tell you were sleepy and she made you go to bed?  I always refused, but got forced and I was tired so it wasn't long before I was at the mercy of my own eyelids.  As an adult, however, I often find myself trying to stay awake longer.  Like I'm defying all those who used to tell me to go to bed.  I find myself sleep deprived and tired though.  Why do I do this?  I feel like I need to accomplish more and that sleep is wasteful.  I know I'm not alone, the CDC says that 30% of Americans habitually get less than 6 hours of sleep.  Wonder why that is.  Oh well, I'm sure they are no negative consequences, we know better than mom anyhow right?

I wish

I wish I had profound thoughts, but I do not.  I just felt like this blog needed updating.  I have found a sweet verse that I'm working on memorizing though:

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

~Exodus 14:14

So good.  So true.

New Year's Resolution Time

This year I resolve to:

floss every other day (start small...)

Memorize scripture (Beth Moore's blog has a challenge if you're interested, if the link doesn't work it's found here: http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/ )

Exercise 3x a week

Get a job that doesn't emotionally drain me...

What do you resolve to do?  Let's all try to keep them!

The OT

Someone once told me that the Old Testament is full of little gems of scripture if you are willing to not get bogged down in the familiar stories.  I think they were right.  This is what Moses said to the Israelites, who had just fled Egypt, when they became fearful upon seeing Pharoah pursuing them.

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

~Exodus 14:14

That is a good reminder to me I think.  There are lots of reasons to be afraid, especially in today's economic climate.  However, the God we serve has not changed, nor will He ever change.

I think I need to be reminded often.

The Pioneers Were Hard Core

So today I was really excited about taking a bath.  I started to fill up the tub and our water heater of crap could only get it about 1/2 full with luke warm water.  So, being creative, I decided to boil some water.  They did it in pioneer days darn it!  

I did not calculate how much water it would take to fill up a tub

Nor did I consider my impatience when waiting for water to boil

Nevertheless my plan did not really succeed.

I have new respect for the pioneers...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas Eve Snow Here!

"The people walking in darkness 

have seen a great light; 

on those living in the land of the shadow of death

a light has dawned.

For to us a child is born, 

to us a son is given

and the government will be on his shoulders. 

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

~Isaiah 9:2,6

It's not all roses and sunshine

23 Why is life given to a man
whose way is hidden,
whom God has hedged in?

24 For sighing comes to me instead of food;
my groans pour out like water.

25 What I feared has come upon me;
what I dreaded has happened to me.

26 I have no peace, no quietness;
I have no rest, but only turmoil."

-Job 3:23-26

Life feels like that sometimes. Especially when the economy is hard. Also when things don't seem to be the way you want them to be.

God challenges Job, however.

4 "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
-Job 38:4-5

We weren't there. We also aren't a starving child in a third world country dying from a disease by no fault of their own. Sometimes I have to wonder if one situation or another bothers me so, where is my hope anyway?

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word" ~2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

The TV World

So I was thinking today as I was watching the second season of "Friends" about the TV world.  So I remember watching "Friends" when it was on TV and although I found it funny did not connect with it at all because they were 30 and I was 18.  However, now being in a sort of "beginning" stage of my life I connect more with the first few seasons where they are starting out and worrying about money and finding jobs and starting to make it.  I'm starting to see why it became such a popular TV show.

However, although they are "dealing" with the same stuff, they still can manage to live in a large New York City apartment.  Rent? Food? Those do not seem to be issues on this show!  In the latest episode I watched Monica said she had $127 left in her bank account but then that night they threw a huge party for Rachel's birthday with lots of alcohol and food.  Those things are not free...

My friends tell me, its just a TV show!  Something I also tell them when I'm watching Grey's Anatomy and my friends who understand medical things comment about the bad techniques.  I know nothing of the techniques so want them to hush so I can find out who slept with who...

So what I've decided about the TV world is that to make a hit show, we - The American Public, want the characters to talk about real issues that we have to face without ever having to deal with consequences.  We deal with relationship issues but usually would see consequences if one of us were to sleep with 4 or 5 different people in one season.  We deal with money but might actually have to get a smaller apartment and live off Mac N Cheese.  We want to believe they have the same issues as we do, but we don't really want to see the real effects of those issues.  It makes our lives a little happier for awhile.

That's the TV World!

Today's Deep Thought

So the other day it was cold.... being the non morning person that I am I didn't have time to scrape off my car thoroughly because I had spent ever spare minute sleeping.  Driving down the road I decided not getting all the ice crystals off was a potentially bad idea with the roads as hazardous as they were.

I started thinking about how I want everything done yesterday.  I've also been thinking a lot lately about spiritual development.  I think in my relationship with God I want everything done yesterday too.  So I couldn't help comparing my car's defrost system to the way that God slowly works on thawing our hearts and helping us understand who He is and His will for our lives.  I don't think I could probably handle it all at once so that is probably good.  I think I need to learn patience.  Perhaps also how to get up a little bit earlier on snowy days :-)

Too Cold!

When there is ice on your window it is too gosh darn cold!  Woo -10 degrees Farenheight with wind chill!